WALT write a narrative through the eyes of one of the children or one of the soldiers

Beyond the line

I was in the war and then I was made out of  paper. I was daydreaming of us being in the war with my granddad. But I would have been so scared of going to the war.

I would have died but I was with my friend who saved me.  I was getting way more scared and scared,  and then I saw my best friend, her name is Aliyah. Aliyah  did die. I didn’t want to be in the war anymore because my dad would have died and I don’t want him to die because he is so nice.

Then I was hearing gunshots and then my dad got up and shot them all.  I  got up and looked at all the soldiers .  When I got up  my  dad died because he got out of the trench and then I said “dad wake up “ but my dad was trying to say” I, I think i’m dying” and I was like “ no no noooooo you arent” and he said “yes I am” and then Aliyah my best friend said “noooo I  don’t want him to die he is so nice”and they were as scary as  lions and  as  dirty as a hippo. Because they are so dirty and big and mean to us. Because they don’t like us, because we try to kill them and they try do that to us.  Because I don’t like them and they don’t like me, because they try and shoot  me and then  everyone was just too scared to be in war now and we all lied about our ages. I’m 24 and all my other friends are only 19 and most of my friends have already died because they were shot by a girl could Ngapera. Then we went to go back home to my grandson.

In the end  when I went to sleep I heard peng, peng  “the guns shot while I was sleeping so I had to go to get up and go and shoot them and then I ran to go back to my grandkids because they had been missing me to much so I had to come back because I missed them as well.

I had to have sleep every day plus all day because I was so tired once I got home because I didn’t get sleep when I was at war so I went to school with them sometimes because I would be asleep sometime and then we lived happily ever after the end.

The Cloud

   WALT use basic  punctuation correctly 

 The Cloud

               

Hi I am a cool,best and helpful could cause this is the thing I’m not a normal cloud I’m a cool one cause I can go through things and plus I am made out of water and then I can  help people.I always go to people to let them look at my brothers and sisters and this is how they see my brothers and sisters. so they follow me and then I will go to my brothers and sisters so they can see them and them I will help if I have to help others cause I’m a kind cloud.

I have to go everywhere, when I go over the nice city's cause I have to so I can see my brothers and my sisters and that's how nice I am to them so they can help me out with staff  and then I always help but they help as well.

I also go to help but they can’t help me back but I think they try help me back I think they do but I want them to help me with some thing cause I love helping but...I really do want them to help but they don’t help me cause I fly and they don’t fly like me.

I went everywhere one time but...when I went to go to my last place I went so I went in I got a big,giant,tall and strongest shock in my life and then this was the scary part a cat thing came out of nowhere and then the cat said…”hhhhh” and then I ran away,  cause I was scared cause I don’t like doing that because it is so so so sore that’s why.

I really like doing this like helping and I haven't told you this but once I saw a fire and then people were trying and trying to put the fire out and then I came and put the fire out cause I’m not just normal cloud I’m an amazing cloud but....people don’t love me back.

Here is some way that clouds can help you.

They block the sun if it is to hot

They can always help you when you have a fire and it is raining.

If it is so hot it will maybe block it and then it will go windy.

Here is some ways that clouds can not help you.

If it is hot it will go raining.

If it is a raining day it will not help you.

Like if you have a netball game it will be raining.

Like if you don’t have you shoes on and you have socks on and then you walk into the rain.

So that’s how they can or not but I always be helpful and then I went to go to see what people were doing today but they were not doing much today because it is so so so so raining outside and then I saw someone doing a rugby game and then I saw that girl slip over her shoes lace and then she got a broken arm and then I could just made it reverse and then I made her tie her shoes up and that’s how I became good but that was heaps of years ago.